In Thailand

Thailand.



On the train from Bangkok to Nong Khai, where my training is being held. Early morning.



I arrived here after a very long 24 hour plane ride with two connections. Man, that was long. I was starting to feel as though I had flown in a plane my whole life and I’d be flying in a plane for the rest of my life as well. And then I got to thinking about prison - and that’s how that plane felt - slightly. We did cross over Alaska which was spectacular from above (I wouldn‘t like to be below.) The white mountains were fierce and frozen rivers dared to make their way between the mountains enormous strength and solidity.

Andrea, the previous volunteer coordinator at International Rescue Committee picked me up from the airport at 2 in the morning. The moment I stepped outside, the wet hot air clung to my skin like a big polyester body suit. After leaving this unusually cold winter in Atlanta, the hot air made me sweat quite unattractively.

Andrea guided me through every step of being in a new country. I am thoroughly grateful to her that I did not have to spend the night alone in a hotel, or for that matter have to find a hotel in the middle of the night. And, she is wonderful company. She moved to Thailand only a month ago and plans to begin volunteering until she can find a job here. Her kindness is overwhelming. She helped me all the way to the point of carrying some of my bags on to the train with me. And now she’s gone and I’m alone again.

The time difference from Thailand to home is twelve hours, so when I arrived I could not go to sleep and went down to the lobby and read Wicked until about 8 o’clock. I felt distressed as I stay wide awake in the middle of the night. The realization that I am so far, half way around the world, from my family, friends and country hit me like block of ice to my stomach. A loneliness swept over me as I tried and failed to access the internet. But I was soon accompanied by two black miniature poodles. They jumped up, one after the other on to the couch and immediately laid down and rested their heads on my thigh. They stayed for a long while until the cleaners came and they ran off to their owners. I finally got in touch with my family later that morning and talked to my sister Rachel and my mom. This cheered me up thoroughly.

I’m now sitting in my upper bunk of a Thai train heading up to Nong Khai, a Northeastern Province where I will be trained, volunteering and living. The train is wobbling to and fro and I’m on the an upper bun bed. The bed is quite thin and high off the ground. I’ll be up here all night and it feels as though with one jerk or swing of the train, I’ll fall right out of the bed…

I’m nervous and excited about what this new home for me will bring. I don’t feel as though it will be easy to let go of my life at home. All that’s happened this year in my family has been troubling and humbling. I want to let go of trying to process all of it. I think my subconscious can do much of the processing. But still there’s a heaviness in my heart from my dad’s death to my brother and yet I feel as though my family is all healthier and more united than we have ever been. It seems that we all want to love each other just the way we are. And we want listen and understand each other more. This is very comforting. And for a brief time on the plane I felt as though perhaps I was abandoning my family to find another family, but I realized that my family is my family and no other family is as real and true to me as mine. We are there always for each other. And I know they want me to have a freeing experience in Thailand. And they will always be close to me.

I feel a general uneasiness about certain houses and structures and people that I see. I know this is a direct connection to the uneasiness I feel when watching Spirited Away and some other Japanese animation films. The presence of superstition and magic frightens me. And the people’s little and short communication makes me feel nervous. But I think this is only on the surface. Once I get to know individuals personally, this anxiety will release. The people are definitely not the openly playful, openly expressive people of the United States. The Thais seem to keep their feelings to themselves. I have heard that in general they do not like conflict, especially in public and work hard to avoid clashes. I want to become close to people and learn about them and help. Tomorrow, I’ll be in Nong Khai for the three-day training. Then on Sunday I’ll leave for the village that I’ll be living in which is called Kham Pia. And the Wildlife Sanctuary I’ll be working at is called Phu Wua Wildlife Sanctuary. The volunteer program is called OpenMind Projects. (Just listing these things off for the people who have asked me to write these down for them.)

It would be so wonderful if anyone wants to send a letter or card or anything to me, this is the address you can send it to me by:

Julia Wallace
856/9 Moo 15, Prajak Rd, Paluang Soi Si (4)
Tumbol Naimuang, Amphor Muang, Nong Khai 43000,
Thailand

I will love to hear from you.
You can also email me at: mamapajaman@hotmail.com

I Love you all!